I love cheese. It’s my favorite food. It’s my desert island food, you know? Southeast Asia does not love cheese. There is a dearth of cheese. It’s not really a staple of any dishes here. Most East Asians are lactose intolerant, and historically, cows were for working, not milking. I have loved the food here, but I have really been missing cheese. You can, therefore, imagine how psyched I was to find a cheese board at Hill Station. And it was dang good cheese, too, paired with apricot preserves, hazelnuts, and raisins. Aaron and I sat in the historic surrounds of Hill Station’s second floor (the restaurant inhabits an old mansion) and really appreciated cheese for a minute. You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. They also had an authentic, anchovy-based Caesar salad. The only other time Aaron and I have had Caesar dressing here, it tasted more like mayo. This salad was crisp and had giant shavings of aged parmesan on top.
As we exited Hill Station, I noticed a sign for Yaly Tailors across the street. Hoi An is known for its hand-made, bespoke clothing, and Yaly is The Tailor in town if you want anything fancy. Aaron and I both had something fancy in mind, so we stepped inside and browsed the fabrics. Aaron gravitated to floral brocade, and I fell for a wine-red lace. The attendants set our expectations at a realistic level when we told them what we had in mind: no, they would not hand-embroider a complicated floral pattern onto Aaron’s suit, and yes, they could make a dress that would somewhat resemble the Zuhair Murad gown I showed them, but it wouldn’t be a $3,000 dress, and it wouldn’t look like one either. They took all of our measurements, and told us to come back in a couple of days for a fitting.
For dinner that night, we had Indian again. It has been our go-to whenever we’re craving something that isn’t East Asian. Well, it and pizza. Ganesh Restaurant was small, but very busy when we arrived. We would not have been seated had we not had a reservation. That might be the first time on this trip I can really say that. We shared a shahi paneer and some garlic naan, and it hit the spot. Aaron and I were both practically licking the bowl. Indian food is the best of both worlds: spices and flavor, but also cheese and cream.
We fell asleep early that night, bellies full of paneer.
The next morning, we switched up our usual routine and walked to Queta Cafe, instead of Phin. It was a small, jungly spot with green bamboo cups and dried bamboo straws. We sat in front of an old loom that took up most of the cafe’s right half. The coconut coffee was delicious, but, if I’m being honest, the all-wood aesthetic didn’t do it for me as much as Phin’s secluded courtyard. It’s one thing to evoke nature in your design, but it doesn’t compare to the actual experience of sitting in a garden.
On our way to our first stop of the day, we passed by a photoshoot waiting to happen: a monumental monolith, surrounded by koi ponds. I stopped to grab a shot, when a middle-aged Vietnamese man waved us over. He spoke broken English, but we managed to get the gist. When he was 14, he lived in Hoi An, and he had taken a number of photos at this monument park. Now, he wanted to re-create them, 50 years later. At least, he said 50 years later. That would have made him 64 and I wouldn’t have pegged him a day over 45, but they say people have a hard time determining age in other races. Race is a social construct, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that Lucy Liu is 51 and Halle Berry is 53 and neither of them look over 27 to me. We did our best to help this man, despite his insistence that he took the photos in particular spots and from particular angles that did not match the photos we were looking at. He paid us back by taking some good shots of us, too. In the end, we all took a photo together. Maybe in 50 years we’ll all return to re-create it.
For lunch, we made the hike out to Spice Viet for some white rose (Hoi An’s signature dish) and fried spring rolls, then we dipped back to Old Town to do some touristy exploring.
We popped into an ancient house for what we were told was a free tour. Our guide told us about the meaning of the fish and dragons that her great grandfather carved into the beams and pillars (fish is for luck, dragon is for strength). Another man showed us how ancient drills worked and the traditional method for making silver jewelry. It was all very interesting, until the other shoe dropped and they both started pushing us to buy something from the little gift shop in the back of the house. Nothing is ever really free. We thanked them for the tour, dropped some money in the donation box, and skedaddled.
Next, we stopped at the Tran Family Chapel. This Ancestor Worship Hall has examples of Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese influence in its architecture. After admiring the Tran family’s shrine and its many urns, our guide showed us a coin game. Two ancient coins, one side painted white on each, are thrown into a bowl. If one lands yin (the dark side) and the other yang (the side painted white), this will bring you luck. You have three chances to throw them. Mine worked the first time, Aaron never got it after three throws. Some people have all the luck. After this, our guide tried to sell us a lot of stuff, so we scrammed. Noticing a theme here? This time we’d even paid admission.
Next up on our highlights of Hoi An tour was the Assembly Hall of the Fujian Chinese Congregation. Once a guildhall, the building was transformed into a temple for worshipping the Chinese goddess of sailors and seafarers. As you enter, a magnificent, mosaic, sculpture/fountain depicting a fish jumping from the water hints at the theme. The temple itself was also gorgeous, as were the grounds. Dozens of flowering, bonsai bushes dotted it’s courtyard.
Lastly, we hit the Tan Ky house, a preserved, 18th-century merchant’s residence. The woman who took our tickets offered us a free tour, but we had learned our lesson by now. This house reminded me a lot of the ancient house we visited in Hanoi, only less extravagant. It was a bit of a let down; maybe, if we’d had the tour…?
We finished the day off with a drink at Dive Bar (the cheekily-named watering hole of a scuba diving tour company), and an overpriced, overwrought dinner at a restaurant I won’t even name.
Hanoimoon 